crescendos of life

Learn your learning style

2007-07-23T00:17:00.000-05:00

I came across an interesting article talking about one's learning style. It's a pretty interesting survey and I found out my style (which I did know from before). The results of my survey were:

Visual/Nonverbal 40 Visual/Verbal 26 Auditory 22 Kinesthetic 24

Your primary learning style is:

The Visual/ Nonverbal Learning Style

You learn best when information is presented visually and in a picture or design format. In a classroom setting, you benefit from instructors who use visual aids such as film, video, maps and charts. You benefit from information obtained from the pictures and diagrams in textbooks. You tend to like to work in a quiet room and may not like to work in study groups. When trying to remember something, you can often visualize a picture of it in your mind. You may have an artistic side that enjoys activities having to do with visual art and design.

Learning Strategies for the Visual/ Nonverbal Learner:

Make flashcards of key information that needs to be memorized. Draw symbols and pictures on the cards to facilitate recall. Use highlighter pens to highlight key words and pictures on the flashcards. Limit the amount of information per card, so your mind can take a mental "picture' of the information.

Mark up the margins of your textbook with key words, symbols, and diagrams that help you remember the text. Use highlighter pens of contrasting colors to "color code" the information.

When learning mathematical or technical information, make charts to organize the information. When a mathematical problem involves a sequence of steps, draw a series of boxes, each containing the appropriate bit of information in sequence.

Use large square graph paper to assist in creating charts and diagrams that illustrate key concepts.

Use the computer to assist in organizing material that needs to be memorized. Using word processing, create tables and charts with graphics that help you to understand and retain course material. Use spreadsheet and database software to further organize material that needs to be learned.

As much as possible, translate words and ideas into symbols, pictures, and diagrams.

Google Keyword intitle

2007-07-14T12:12:00.000-05:00

Found a useful tip about Google today and Im sure you folks will find it useful as we all use google..atleast once a day! :)

TIP:

Many times we search particular files on google and what we do is put in the file name and run search. What google returns is tonnes of links. But these links do not gurantee if the file is going to be there or not. Also these links might give u more links to get to the files. Or they might give u links to paid websites. So for e.g. say u are searching for mp3 named "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. The normal thing to do would be to type "download bohemian rhapsody mp3" and get tonnes of hits but then a lot of times u end up surfing a lot of sites before u get the song u want. Here is a solution:

In the google search field type the following:

intitle:"index.of" (mp3wmamp4aa4) Bohemian.Rhapsody -htm -html -php -asp

This will give u the links straight to the file. Try it out. The entries in green are user controlled.

Explanation of the command:

intitle: It is Google syntax that restricts Web search results to only list Web sites that contain a keyword in their title. The keyword should follow with no spaces

index.of: This is the key word we are using here searching for the index of files

(mp3wmamp4aa4): These are the extensions of the files we are providing that we want to search

Bohemian.Rhapsody: Name of the file. (Make sure the two words are combined with a period [ (.) (dot) ]. The period takes care of special charachters like space, underscore, dash etc.

-htm -html -php -asp : These are the page extensions that we want google to search for

So next time u are on google, make sure u search efficiently. Also, the above example was just for mp3. Put on your creative caps and use it for whatever you want and go bananas. :)

9 Things The Non-Tech Savvy Do That Annoy Geeks

2007-05-29T10:24:00.000-05:00

I came across an interesting post which is so true.. I am just reposting his thoughts. Click on the link below to read each item in detail.

9 Things The Non-Tech Savvy Do That Annoy Geeks

1: Microsoft Word is the application for everything.
2: Incorrect Aspect Ratios.
3: Everything Must Be Double Clicked.
4: Getting a faster computer will speed up the internets.
5: I won a trip to the Bahamas!
6: Your desktop wallpaper is NOT your screensaver.
7: NO, I DON’T want to fix your cousin’s brother’s uncle’s 10 year old computer.
8: The Non-Tech Savvy Geek
9: Why can’t I open this file on my floppy disk?

Rememeber the Name

2007-05-16T15:30:00.000-05:00

With NBA season heating up... this song has also grown on me. This song plays in the background for the ads of NBA Playoffs on TNT and ESPN. The song is so well written and sung, especially the chorus. Love it. Another Fort Minor classic.

Rememeber The Name - Fort Minor

You ready?! Let's go!
Yeah, for those of you that want to know what we're all about
It's like this y'all (c'mon!)

[Chorus:]

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

Mike! - He doesn't need his name up in lights
He just wants to be heard whether it's the beat or the mic
He feels so unlike everybody else, alone
In spite of the fact that some people still think that they know him
But f%^k em, he knows the code
It's not about the salary
It's all about reality and making some noise
Making the story - making sure his clique stays up
That means when he puts it down Tak's picking it up! Let's go!

Who the hell is he anyway?
He never really talks much
Never concerned with status but still leaving them star struck
Humbled through opportunities given despite the fact
That many misjudge him because he makes a living from writing raps
Put it together himself, now the picture connects
Never asking for someone's help, or to get some respect
He's only focused on what he wrote, his will is beyond reach
And now it all unfolds, the skill of an artist

This is twenty percent skill
Eighty percent beer
Be a hundred percent clear cause Ryu is ill
Who would've thought that he'd be the one to set the west in flames
And I heard him wreck it with The Crystal Method, "Name Of The Game"
Came back dropped Megadef, took em to church
I like bleach man, why you had the stupidest verse?
This dude is the truth, now everybody's giving him guest spots
His stock's through the roof I heard he's f^%$in' with S. Dot!

[Chorus]

They call him Ryu, he's sick
And he's spitting fire
And mike got him out the dryer he's hot
Found him in Fort Minor with Tak
What a fuckin' nihilist porcupine
He's a prick, he's a cock
The type woman want to be with, and rappers hope he get shot
Eight years in the making, patiently waiting to blow
Now the record with Shinoda's takin over the globe
He's got a partner in crime, his shit is equally dope
You wont believe the kind of shit that comes out of this kid's throat

Tak! - He's not your everyday on the block
He knows how to work with what he's got
Making his way to the top
He often gets a comment on his name
People keep asking him was it given at birth
Or does it stand for an acronym?
No he's living proof, got him rocking the booth
He'll get you buzzing quicker than a shot of vodka with juice
Him and his crew are known around as one of the best
Dedicated to what they do and give a hundred percent

Forget Mike - Nobody really knows how or why he works so hard
It seems like he's never got time
Because he writes every note and he writes every line
And I've seen him at work when that light goes on in his mind
It's like a design is written in his head every time
Before he even touches a key or speaks in a rhyme
And those motherf^%&rs he runs with,
The kids that he signed?
Ridiculous, without even trying,
How do they do it?!

[Chorus - repeat 2x]

[Outro - Mike Shinoda:]

Yeah! Fort Minor
M. Shinoda - Styles of Beyond
Ryu! Takbir! Machine Shop!

Is career overrated?

2007-05-13T21:33:00.000-05:00

I know its been a while I havent posted. Well, so here I am..

So I have been travelling a lot of Kansas City a lot lately on project. So it has been a lot of travel. Been on the road for almost 6 weeks now. Anyways during my travel, i got to meet some interesting people and discuss some interesting topics. One of the interesting discussions we had was about career. What color is my parachute?? I know there are tonnes of books written about it and there are a lot of folks who make a lot of money counselling. But my question is, is it so hard to decide?

Actually, this question opened a whole new can of worms for me. Why are we under a constant pressure of performing, excelling, even out performing? Why is there so much competition? Why is one labled a failure the moment he chooses not to compete? Why is the $$ amount so important? Why is the social status so important? Is it just vanity? Why is there a constant fear of failure? Does the pressure of being successful lead to our failure? There is a very thin line between being motivated and being insane. Are we flirting with this line?

Had there been no such pressure and everyone does what one wants with no one looking over their shoulder (pssst..the society).. wouldnt it be easier to decide then?

Follow one's passion, do what you like to do..all these are mere motivational/'sign of support' jargons. At the end of the day the society slaps a label with a number on your forehead which decides your level of acceptance in various classes of society. Why are we so bound to what the society cares? Is having a career overrated?

Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain

2007-02-20T17:00:00.000-05:00

Recently I started reading Creative Visulization by Shakti Gawain. As per Shakti, Creative Visualization is the art of using mental imagery and affirmations to produce positive changes in one's life.
More on this book once I finish reading it. Seems like an interesting read. :)

Me going R&B and Gospel baby!!

2007-02-16T08:57:00.000-05:00

Lately I have been listening to a lot of R&B and Gospel and Soul music. I guess this deviation in taste must be primarily because of American Idol. I have been following the auditions and I heard a lot of big names like Liza Minelli, Aretha Franklin, Stevie Wonder and Yolanda Adams. I decided to pick up a few CDs and check them out. Oh my god...it just blew me away. I think another reason why I connected with this genre of music is only because of my love for vocals. Be it from a Hindustani Classical background, Carnatic backround or the very own R&B and Gospel...it just shows that one doesnt need instruments to make a song...its the voice that does the magic.. Here are few of my fav clips that I love to listen over and over again.

Bianca Ryan performing "And I'm telling you I am not going" at America's Got Talent. Click here to see the video.

Christina Aguilera performing "It's a Man Man Man's World at the 49th Grammys 2007. Click here to see the video.

1800-DOPE-MAN

2007-02-15T08:21:00.000-05:00

As I told you that the preparation time for the dish for the recipie below is about 3-9 months, I am gonna take a lil detour from the topic and come back to it a little later. Dont worry..I aint ignoring it...it is just cookin! :)

Here is an interesting article that my friend emailed me. It was on CNN.

Loving with all your ... brain
Close your eyes for a minute and envision all the romantic parts of the human body.
Her beautiful eyes. His strong shoulders. We'll stop there, but you go right ahead and think about all the body parts you want.
Bet you didn't think about the caudate and the ventral tegmental areas, did you?
These areas of the brain, while little known to most people, are helping scientists explain the physiological reasons behind why we feel what we feel when we fall in love. [More]

Now if we discover the a way of controlling the secretions in the brain, wouldnt it just be a wonderful world? Or better still, what if the secretion of dopamine could be controlled remotely?
It would indeed give an edge to any and every relationship; like the scenario below:

Picture this. Valentine's day. Girl is all excited about the date with her boyfriend. Boyfriend finished his 12 hour shift at McDonalds serving fries and coke and now all he wants is to go home and sleep. Somehow he drags himself to the restaurant, least interested. The girl is all jumpy and excited. Her tail bone refuses to seat itself for a second... the guy is totally drained out and the girl senses that. In a regular scenario, the girl would be all depressed and sad but not her. She is a smart girl. She excuses herself and goes to the rest room. She takes out her cellphone and messages 'more love' to 1800-DOPE-MAN. The dopologist beams a ray of dopamine throught the satellite to the boyfriends brain. She comes back to the table from the restroom. He says: "Baby..Happy Valentines...blah blah blah..." Mission Accomplished!

Recipie of an Indian Marriage - (Engagement and Courtship)

2007-01-24T16:23:00.000-05:00

So continuing the series from my previous post (make sure u read that first)we continue to the phase 2 of this recipie. This phase is just an difficult appetizer. The reason I call it a difficult appetizer is becuase it has to be made with a lot of caution and care and it is over before you know!

PHASE 2 - Engagement and Courtship

INGREDIENTS:
1 already cooked, charred and black guy (the same on from phase 1)
1 cringed confused and undecisive girl (the same on from phase 1)
1 mediator (of course, how could we forget her, after all we need a catalyst in this reaction)
2 families (as before, they come complimentary, play a very important role in phase 3 financially)
1 movie theater 2 friends (one set belonging to each, the guy and girl)
1 restaurant (oh cmon!! its an indian wedding (tobe) scenario, how can we forget food)
1 bitch (to meddle with the girl's mind)
1 asshole (to meddle with the guy's mind)

So as we found out that the reactions from the previous experiment were non toxic, we move forward to phase 2 - Then engagement and courtship.

Preparation Time: 7 -10 days
Cooking Time: 3 - 9 months

1. As the charred guy and the cringed confused girl from the coffee shop showed no sign of chemical imbalance, we shall test it once again to check for any food poisoning due to other elements before we can use these ingredients for phase 3 - The Marriage.

2. Place the guy and the girl in an enclosed movie theater. To add flavor make sure you put the 2 friends side by side. Steam all the ingredients with drama, emotion, romance and let them cooloff with a happy ending. Remove the contents after 3 hours.

3. Once steamed and soft, place all 4 items in the restaurant and wait for the reaction. Most likely they will break sweat over their 3 hour experience. The friends will add a little flavor to the bland conversation.

4. Seperate the guy and the girl and place then in seperate rooms with an asshole and a bitch respectively. Observe the effervescence in communications as both "friends" try to manipulate the main ingredients taste.

5. Add the mediator and determine the engagement date. Look for pink blush on the girl and a nervous look on the guy. If both look fine, then grill them over the open fire 7 days from today.
Make sure the metal rings are fitted properly so that the grip doesnt loosen.

6. Kindly invite close family and friends to the feast as everyone enjoys a good grill. :)

Recipie of an Indian Marriage - Phase1 (Initial hookup)

2007-01-22T05:21:00.000-05:00

This is a recepie of how to create an Indian Marriage. In today's post we shall learn the 'phase 1 - the hook up'. This phase is where the ingredients are under tests for reactions and taste compatibility. If the mixture of ingredients turn out to be non toxic and non life threatening, 'phase 2 - engagement' is initiated which is briefly followed by the final and terminal phase 'phase 3 - marriage'. We shal be covering the next 2 phases in following posts. Without wasting anytime lets start off with the ingredients.

PHASE 1 - The Hook Up

INGREDIENTS:
1 guy (preferably educated, rich and of course good looking. The taste of the dish will depend on the quality of guy u find in the market)
1 girl (preferably educated, rich and of course good looking. The taste of the dish will depend on the quality of guy u find in the market)
2 families (usually they come complimentary with an order of a guy and a girl.)
1 mediator (usually it is better that this belongs to the family of the guy or the girl, if not independant mediators are available in plenty for a few bucks)
1 room in the house (to fit all the above ingredients, preferable if the house belongs to either of the families or mediator)
1 coffee shop (in the vicinity of the house)

Initial Preparation time: 45 minutes
Cooking time: 1 hour

Steps for Initial Preparation:

1. Place the mediator in the center of the room (of the house).
2. Let the mediator initiate contact with the 2 families. Kindly observe the reaction of this mixture. Do not proceed to the next step till the ingredients in the room (2 families and the mediator) are mixed well. Kindly saute with a pinch of gossip from time to time to make sure the ingredients mix well.
3. Once the initial batter is cooked (as shown in step 1 and 2), place the guy and the girl in the room. Let them marinate in the batter for 15 minutes. Immerse the guy and girl in the room such that both mix well with both the families. Add salt of embarassment to taste.
4. Once both the guy and girl are marinated, remove them from the room and place them in the coffee shop for 30 minutes to 1 hour.
5. Set the temperature of the coffee shop to 375 degrees C, and set the mode to GRILL (pun intended).
6. Observe the guy turn pale and loose color while the girl deleops an cringe on her forehead.
7. Just when the guy is charred and close to black and burnt, remove it from the coffee shop and place it in an open room with a lot of air. Sprinkle some water as the guy would be dehydrated even after swallowing its own secretions.
8. Kindly wait for 5 minutes before you put the guy and girl back in the room.
9. Seperate the 2 families and the guy and the girl from the room.
10. Wait for the mediator to notify both the parties of the reactions and desicions.

The reaction in the house and coffee shop between the girl and the guy will determine if phase 2 should be initiated or not.

Garnish this phase with a hint of lies and your own made version of all the grilling in the coffee shop to satisfy your ego.

India...turning a new leaf

2006-09-19T18:50:00.000-05:00

Emerging economies (which includes primarily India and China along with Brazil, Mexico) today contributes to half of the world economy. The exports of these countries have jumped upto 43% last year compared to mere 20% in 1970. Also, in the last 5 years, the average growth rate of emerging economies has been 7% per year whereas that of the developed economies (US, Europe and Japan being the major players) has been mere 2.3% per year. For the next five years, the economists predict that the emerging economies will continue to grow at an average annual rate of 6.8% where as the developed economies will grow at 2.7% per year.

Well it was indeed refreshing to read the article in The Economist talking about the emerging economies and how history is about to repeat itself. In late 19th century, China contributed towards the 80% of the world GDP. Then came the industrial revolution in Europe and America and the tables turned.

It was indeed nice to read something positive after a long time.

Embarrass yourself 101

2006-09-12T09:29:00.000-05:00

Why would someone torture their kids by posting something like this online...

I mean there's an age og being cute...but these guys are way past that... now its mere stupid!!

She left me stranded.... :(

2006-09-07T22:00:00.000-05:00

She was working as usual when suddenly I hear this thumping sound. I looked up and saw her fall on the floor. Suddenly she froze. Apparently she hit her head on a hard surface while spinning. I tried to wake her up, gave her CPR, even defibrillated her but all in vain. Slowly she closed her eyes and and there the soul left her body. She went to a place of no return. For a moment I was infuriated for we were working on an issue for last 3 days and we were about to break ground when she gave up on me.

My sweetheart...my love...my laptop...you left me stranded... :(

I shipped her body to the Pearly Gates in California so that she could RIP. Apparently I have heard that gods in California are going to cure her of her illness or just replace her harddrive with an artificial one and send her back to me.

Well I'm happy that she will be back, but the soul wont be hers :(

Alpine Helen, Georgia

2006-09-04T20:37:00.000-05:00

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So this Long weekend (Labor Day Weekend), some of my buddies from Boston visited me. During their visit we took a trip to Alpine Helen, GA. This small little town in the mountains has a very interesting history.

Prior to 1800, this area was the center of Cherokee Indian culture, with villages scattered throughout Nacoochee and what is now known as Helen valleys. A townhouse was located on top of at least one of the four ceremonial mounds in Nacoochee Valley. In 1813 the Cherokees approved construction of the Unicoi Turnpike, a wagon road through their Nation from the Savannah River headwaters to northeast Tennessee. This trail, now Highways 17 and 75, ran through the valleys toward Hiawassee. The Cherokees left the area on this “Trail of Tears”, and were replaced by white settlers.
Gold was discovered on Dukes Creek in Nacoochee Valley in 1828. The Great Georgia Gold Rush belt was bound by Dahlonega on the west and Nacoochee-Helen Valley on the east. Thousands of miners came into the Valley and mined in the foothills for over a century, generating thousands of pounds of gold. The historic England Gold Mine, site of Helen's current gold mine, and Hamby Mountain were mined extensively. Mining operations ceased by the end of the century, and settlers moved on.
Timber officials came into the Valley , saw huge virgin timber, and built a great sawmill, Matthews Lumber Company. Simultaneously, the Gainesville and Northwestern Railroad came up the Chattahoochee River to Helen. In 1913 the Valley was named "Helen”, after the daughter of the railroad surveyor. The lumber company, located in the center of Helen on the Chattahoochee River, continued sawmill operations until 1931, shipping to Europe and the U.S. until all timber was cut. Settlers again left for opportunities in other places. By the 1960's, there was nothing left except a dreary row of concrete block structures.
In 1968, local businessmen met to discuss what could be done to improve their town. They approached a nearby artist friend, who had been stationed in Germany. He sketched the buildings, added gingerbread trim, details and colors to the buildings, giving an Alpine look to the entire town. In January 1969, business owners and local carpenters began turning ideas into reality. Now all downtown stores have been renovated and many buildings and cobblestone alleyways added. Faces of buildings were painted with scenes of Bavaria and North Georgia, mirroring the migration of early settlers.
Helen has accomplished much; it has created a new town and industry, providing jobs for more people and boosting the economy of the entire area. Helen also commemorates its historic past when the early settlers came to this remote area. A village with mountain heritage and a touch of Bavaria, Helen has created a unique experience for its visitor.
So…this is the story of Helen, the miracle of a small, remote mountain community who revitalized itself in various ways throughout several centuries, and who today hosts millions of visitors each year.

[reference: http://www.helenga.org/history.html]

Crazy... Crazier... Craziest

2006-08-31T08:46:00.000-05:00

- Memorizing my Credit Card numbers - Crazy
- Remembering random phone numbers (like the pizza hut no. in california..just ordred once, but still remember the number) - Crazier
- Drinking 5 RedBulls in a day - Crazy
- Standing up to a rowdy crowd of 20-25 people and picking up a fight assuming my 2 friends are still standing behind me - Crazier
- Watching 24 episodes (1 hour long each) of The Sopranos back to back straight for 24 hours - Crazier
- Driving for about 15-18 miles on a 2 lane relatively busy freeway at 110-120 mph (about 160 kmph) and racing with 2 unknown girls - Crazy
- Remembering 18 active passwords without writing them down anywhere - Crazier
- Eating Veggie Patty (Subway) and Chipotle Burrito Bowl for lunch and dinner respectively for 3 and a half week continously without missing a single meal - Craziest
- Me actually making a list of wierd things I have done and not completing it - Crazy

Work affects dreams...

2006-08-29T00:18:00.000-05:00

Work affects dreams...and i am not speaking metaphorically. It actually does. Last few weeks have been just crazy at work. At times I have lost track of time... get to work at 9 am, leave work at 10 pm...have dinner come back to the desk at midnight...work whole night... go home at 9 am...sleep till 1 pm. Have lunch and get to work by 2 pm...work straight till 5 am next morning... it has just been hectic...not that im complainin... actually..its been quite interesting..

But anyways before I divert away from the subject here is what happened. So I was all dead tired of working on these UNIX systems and constant coding and configuring these systems. I crash on my bed at about 9 am and drop straight into dreamland.

I find myself at the Hertz car rental center on the Boston airport at 4am all alone... I reach the gold member lounge and lookup my name on the screen. It says ' URVISH KHANDWALLA - D145'. So I head to the parking lot D145 and what do I see... a car in the shape of a Nokia 7610... (wierd).. anyways i somehow cram myself into the car and swooooosh....on the back seat is my Project Tech Lead and my Project Manager (with whom I have been spending these long hours in the conference rooms). And the next moment on my right (left hand drive in US ;) ) is my sister sitting in the front seat. [Dont ask me how and why]

So the next thing I'm asking my manager is "where is the damn joystick?" "Joystick???? what the hell am I talking about?" "Well how am I gonna air this car?" My sister blurts out... "oh dont worry I coded the soft key "UP" and "DOWN" for you in DotNET...for smooth takeoff and landing...(after all we know how smooth you are) ...so just hit 86 miles/hour and hit the UP button and u will take off...."
Yeah...my face turned as crooked as yours right now... I am like..what???? Am I Michael J Fox and are we riding into the future or what? Anyways... my proejct tech lead pats my shoulder and asks me..."Urvish..I hope you have mounted the virtual drives and formatted, striped and mirrored them at RAID 10 and optimized the cache and i/o operations else the "DOWN" function wont work." I was like.... yehh rriiite.. you couldnt tell me that when we were on the ground...anyways... sweat starts dripping my down my forehead and I'm cold and clammy... before I could decide how to land this Nokia 7610 car/air mobile wierd machine my alarm went off.... THANK GOD.

So yes... if you work hard... dreams do get affected :)

Destiny... make it or fate it...

2006-08-28T15:11:00.000-05:00

Im sure zillions of blogs have penned this topic. Gazillions of mouths have debated this topic. And bazillions of minds of thought of this topic. Yet again I bring this topic to the table.

What is destiny? So many times one wonder's why did this happen... above all why did this happen to me... Given our tendencies as humans, we are often fixed on the negatives. Why the hell on earth did he not promote me? Why me, why am I being fired? Why did he have to hurt me? Why did I miss the bus? Eventually we would make our peace with blaming our karma and destiny. Is there a bigger reason behind that just besides karma/destiny?

Some say your life is already written. God decides your fate the moment he lets your soul take an earthly form. In my discussion with one of my previous mangers, his opinion was that our life has already been given direction. Think of it as a river... you are already flowing in a given direction. There might be some deviations like taking a parallel route for a while or may be stopping and hanging onto the bark of floating branch. Whatever the case eventually you will end up floating in the same direction your river is meant to take you in.

One of the other interesting discussion I had with my friend Rubi's uncle was that he did not beleive in destiny. The out rightly denied the fact that there is anything called destiny. He said I'm a self made man. I did what I wanted to and I didnt do what I didnt want to. I do not believe
in destiny. People just find an excuse for not doing/doing something and calling it destiny.

Another interesting question I keep thinking of is who/what develops the circumstances that we are in? I mean is it us making the decisions which lead us to those circumstances or is it someone of greater power defining those circumstances and choices one has? If so, who is it? May be this discussion is a little tangent to the main topic here...so I shall bring this up sometime later.

So is there something known as destiny or is it just an easy ecapist route to avoid further questions and guilt?